While my hubcap story is hard to follow up, I may have surpassed that incident and reached a new level of car-retardedness this morning.
It was a routine gas station stop (at the sketchy sounding USA Gas on the corner of Barrington and San Vicente in Brentwood...."only" $3.27 per gallon by the way, which is sadly considered a good deal in today's high gas price world); I swipe my credit card, fill up the pump, smear my windshield with the dirty squigee, and continue on my way, when Kuh-RUMP!!
"No, not another hubcap-loosening pothole!!" I think. A quick look back shows the gas station grounds to be pothole-less. I figure another car must have made the noise and pull out onto the road. I drive along Barrington Ave in Brentwood for about two blocks when this motorcyclist wildly gestures towards me. I roll down my window and he tells me that I forgot to replace the pump back in the gas pump before leaving the gas station.
Mildly embarrassed, I thank him as I imagine the hose still laying on the ground of the gas station. I start rolling up my window while pondering if I should turn around to replace the hose back into the pump. He repeats "No, I said 'you left the pump in your car before leaving!'"
I pull over to find the pump still attached to the gas tank of my car and about 5 feet of hose trailing along on the ground; I didn't gun out of the gas station but had somehow ripped the ENTIRE hose from the main pump. . I wish I had my camera to capture the absurd visual of what I had just done. With as much dignity as I could muster, I unattach the pump from my car, close my gas cap and start gathering the hose to scoop it up into my trunk.
Fearing I was about to swipe the hose in a hose swipe'n'run, (seriously, what the hell am I going to do with half a gas pump?) the bike-riding good samaritan goes on to say "I witnessed the whole thing and followed you as you drove off, the owner wants me to tell you that he isn't mad at you but he just wants his hose back" and actually follows me back to the gas station to make sure I return the hose.
Already red with embarrassment as I cradle the remains of the gas pump in my arms and apologetically offer the torn remains back to the gas station owner. I notice the reproach in his eyes and a second layer of fiery blush hit my cheeks as I realize I've been mistaken as a sneaky attempted gas pump stealer.